


Sometimes Swords Are A Little Too Sharp

by silversteel



Series: Little Fang [2]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Good job tag wranglers you guys are impressive, I honestly don't know what other tags to add, Parent Dante (Devil May Cry), Trans Nero (Devil May Cry), Uncle Dante (Devil May Cry), there's stuff in the trans nero tag now!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21790210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silversteel/pseuds/silversteel
Summary: Nero and Dante meet... Nero and Dante.The definition of a spot the difference game gone wrong.Non-canon Little Fang spin-off (of sorts)
Series: Little Fang [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1570270
Comments: 8
Kudos: 76





	Sometimes Swords Are A Little Too Sharp

**Author's Note:**

> The working title was "NO DOUBLES" and I think that was pretty funny of me at the time.
> 
> I just really liked the thought of my Little Fang family meeting their canon counterparts. And, well, vice-versa.

Uh… This was a little awkward. 

  
  


Nero was standing in a small, barren field filled with disintegrating demon corpses from their latest job, Dante not too far off from him.

  
  


And standing across from them were strange mirror images of him and Dante in front of them. He and Dante stared in confusion. They stared _ back _ in confusion.

  
  


The other him looked just about the same, just with hair a little bit shorter than his. Other than that, pretty similar, right down to the funky robot arm prosthetic. Though it did look a bit less polished. Less refined. Then again, he was pretty sure it was a miracle he recognized himself? Something about science and not being able to recognize yourself. Whatever. Short white hair and a red Durandel-looking sword that was probably Red Queen seemed close enough. He squinted a bit more. Oh God, he really did look related to Dante. Obviously, of course, but still. Weird as shit to see it himself. He turned his attention to the Dante standing beside his fucking doppelganger instead.

  
  


The other Dante, despite being functionally identical to his Dante, was definitely visibly more scraggly. At least there was that to tell them apart. His coat was different too. Actually it looked a lot nicer. Damn, was he in the universe where Dante was broke as shit? He thought about it for a moment. Nah, being weird with money is probably a universal constant. The geezer probably just impulse purchased it.

  
  


_ Which,  _ he thought, staring at his father figure,  _ was pretty impressive to beat, honestly. _

  
  


The two Dantes seemed to be a lot less thrown by whatever the fuck was going on, casually mimicking each others’ movements and faux checking each other out. Nero pulled a face. Ugh. Losers. And twice the trouble, too.

  
  


_ I wonder if I can get along with myself. _

  
  


He saw the other Nero standing across from him roll his eyes at the scene. He snorted, feeling that. Okay, yeah, he probably could.

Nero cleared his throat and his adoptive dad turned away from where he and his dimensional double (???) were doing some kind of weird handshake thing to pout at his ward. Nero raised his eyebrows at the older man. Dante whined petulantly.

  
  


“Fine, okay _. _ ”

  
  


Nero fought not to crack a smile. No need to egg him on, the attention-seeker.

  
  


The opposing Nero looked surprised at their interaction. The Dante did a little too. He wondered what that was about.

  
  


“So,” Nero called out, hoping they could get this shit sorted fairly quickly. This was neat and all, but had some pretty damn serious implications. He flexed his devil arm, feeling Yamato resonating within it, humming a soundless tune in sync with his soul. “Do you two have any idea how the hell this happened? Was it the Yamato?”

  
  


The other Nero looked at him, and he could recognize the distrust in his gaze. He almost groaned aloud. Okay, he changed his mind, he was gonna hate this  _ so _ goddamn much if he had to deal with his own fucking stubbornness. He was tempted to cross himself just to fucking prove a point to the other him. Thankfully the other Dante decided to pipe up before he got heated over dumb irrelevant shit.

  
  


“Probably. Cutting through space is kind of its thing, after all.”

  
  


Huh. That Dante sounded a bit different too. Not much, maybe a bit rougher? He couldn’t really put his finger on how, but… yeah. Huh. Hopefully that meant he’d be able to tell them apart when they were talking and he couldn’t be bothered to look at them.

  
  


Speaking of Dante...s. His was starting to look a bit antsy, so Nero figured it was as good a time as any for them to head back to the shop. He didn’t know everything about Dante’s past, but he at least knew it was shit and that having an alternate version of himself standing in front of him was probably a weird ass feeling. It was probably best to get a move on before the self-loathing really kicked in or something.

  
  


Slinging Red Queen onto his back, he turned and started walking off towards Dante’s car.

  
  


“C’mon, I’m starving and this is probably gonna be a shit conversation to have on an empty stomach.”

  
  


There was silence behind him for a beat, and then the others started heading along as well.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Of course the first real issue started when they get to the car, not even in it yet.

  
  


Nero gave the alternate Dante a death glare.

  
  


“Shotgun is mine. I am  _ not  _ sitting in the back.”

  
  


Other Dante gave him a careless look in response.

“Too bad kiddo. My alternate car, my rules. And I say I get shotgun.”

  
  


Nero felt a vein in his neck throb.

  
  


Listen, he was not letting this stupid ass geezer order him around like that!

  
  


“You’re not my goddamn dad, I don’t have to listen to you. And this car is more  _ my  _ car than your car. My dimension, my rules. And I say  _ I  _ get shotgun.”

  
  


The other Nero, seemingly tired of their shit, found his attention drawn to the single sticker on the bumper of the red convertible.

  
  


He quirked an eyebrow at it. “Down with the cis?”

  
  


His Dante was unwrapping a sucker, already situated in the driver’s seat. He gave Alternate Nero a bland look, eerily reminiscent of his double. Goddamn  _ weird. _

  
  


“Yeah.”

  
  


“...Yeah?”

  
  


Dante loudly crunched the sucker into oblivion between his teeth, face unchanging. “Yeah.”

  
  


Nero almost burst into laughter from where he was still staring down Alternate Dante. Luckily the other Dante found himself distracted as well, so Nero used that opportunity to hop over passenger seat door and buckle himself in, giving his opponent a singularly stunning innocent smile. Butter wouldn't melt in his goddamn mouth, asshole.

  
  


The other Dante snorted, irritated, but his father figure’s snort was much more amused. Nero’s smile widened.

  
  


Once all four of them were finally situated, they were off.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


First thing Nero did when they arrived home was ring up Lady.

  
  


“Hey, just letting you know we completed the job,” the young adult watched the alternate versions of himself kind of float a bit while the alternate Dante planted his ass on the couch. “There were some complications though. No lasting damage to any property or us, but… there was some weird side-effects.”

  
  


Lady’s voice was deadpan.

  
  


_ “Why are you not telling me exactly what happened.” _

  
  


Nero grinned.

  
  


“It’s more fun like this.”

  
  


She sighed loudly, but the way she called him ‘brat’ let him know she was probably a little amused too.

  
  


He suddenly remembered the fact he was starving and that there were now four hybrids under this roof.

  
  


“Uh, actually, could you do my a favor and get a couple of pizzas on your way? By a couple I mean a ludicrous amount.”

  
  


_ “Okay,  _ that  _ actually has me a bit worried,”  _ she joked.

  
  


“Just take the money out of my cut, you know how it is.”

  
  


_ “Bold of you to assume I’d ever think otherwise.” _

  
  


Nero snickered.

  
  


“See you in a bit?”

  
  


_ “Yeah, see you in a bit.” _

  
  


He hung up the phone, turning his attention back to the other dimensional versions of them. The Nero had moved towards on of the chairs, a torn up leather one that they’d had for about a decade now, and situated himself there while the Dante was now splayed out across the entirety of the couch. Of course all Dante’s a space-hogging pricks. His father figure seemed to have headed upstairs to his room, probably to busy himself by putting all his stuff up while Nero was using the phone.

  
  


Speaking of the Devil, he laughed sarcastically in his head, Dante headed down not even a few seconds later. Nero passed the phone handset to him, inputting Trish’s number all the while. Dante mussed up his hair (in what definitely should not be thanks because God it could be annoying) and moved around the desk and Nero’s retaliation swipe to essentially collapse into his chair with an exaggerated groan. Nero just rolled his eyes. Over-dramatic old man.

  
  


He noticed the other Dante watching their interaction through a cracked eye, though it closed as soon as Nero noticed it. The other Nero wasn’t as subtle, staring at them fairly blatantly.

  
  


God it was weird to see what was basically himself sitting in front of him.

  
  


Dante’s muttered conversation with Trish ended fairly quickly, unsurprisingly, and he tossed the handset at the receiver. He hummed thoughtfully, attention drawn towards his alternate self. Thankfully he didn’t look to be particularly depressed or agitated, so he probably wasn’t going to start some Earth-shattering fight in their sort-of living room.

  
  


“So… do you like olives in your universe?”

  
  


Other Dante made a loud noise of disgust in response.

  
  


“Oh thank God, I think I’d have to kill you if that were the case. No olive-loving Dante is actually Dante. It’s just not right.”

  
  


Other Dante snorted, popping up from his lying position. “You’re damn right. Definitely a bad timeline there.”

  
  


His adoptive dad nodded solemnly. “Would lead to exactly the kind of situation we’re in now, though. Gotta team up to take down the evil version of us or something.”

  
  


Everyone in the room paused to think about that situation for a moment.

  
  


Nero almost shivered. “Thank god this isn’t a movie.” 

  
  


Other Nero raised an imaginary glass in response. “Our lives are probably weird enough as-is. That kind of drama would be fucking insufferable. No thanks.”

  
  


Nero thought back to some of the shit he’d had to deal with and pulled a face. “Though I’d rather take another stupid fucking Savior battle over having to deal with the aftermath of Mallet Island all over again. I’ll take the stupid action plots over sad emotion stuff any day.”

  
  


Dante made a disgusted noise. “Don’t talk about my poor feelings like that you little asshole, I’m sensitive!”

  
  


At the same time as that, Nero’s double confusedly asked “What the hell is Mallet Island?”

  
  


Everyone stopped what they were doing to all stare at each other again. Okay, maybe things were a little… more different than expected.

  
  


The other Nero continued, slowly, “Is that why you two are so… buddy-buddy or whatever?”

  
  


Nero almost gaped at him. What? Buddy-buddy? They weren’t really  _ doing _ anything. What the hell was actually going on?

  
  


“…No, the Mallet Island incident was like, over a decade ago,” he responded, still trying to piece together what was wrong.

  
  


If he had looked at his Dante, he would’ve noticed a strange look on his face, a mixture of tentative realization and about a million other things.

  
  


The other Nero just looked confused and a bit irritated. “So how the hell did you have to deal with it? That was years ago!”

  
  


“Because I lived with him??”

  
  


The other Nero’s jaw snapped shut and Alternate Dante looked positively  _ stunned. _

  
  


_ What??? _

  
  
  


**_…Oh._ **

  
  
  


“...Dante’s my dad.”

  
  


Now  _ that  _ got a reaction.

  
  


There was an explosion of noise.

  
  


Other Dante shot to his feet with a loud  _ “What?!?”,  _ other Nero seemed to almost become one with the beaten leather of the chair he was in with how fast he leaned back, shouting all the while as well, and finally there was his Dante, spluttering over nothing due the statement, half-baked arguments dying off before they could be spoken. He was surprisingly easy to still fluster with that. Well, for Dante, at least. It was one thing he knew could still get a reaction out of the man as long as the setting was just right.

  
  


Alternate Nero finally found his voice.  **_“Dad?!?”_ **

  
  


Nero shrugged half-heartedly, feeling a bit more relaxed now that everything had suddenly been shifted in his favor. Was he being a shithead? Probably.

He ignored the sound of Dante's typical grumbling and whining that "he wasn't a dad" with practiced ease. It usually happened whenever him being a father figure was brought up. Nero continued on.

“Well, yeah. Maybe not like 100% biologically, but because of the whole identical twin thing? But yeah. pretty much raised me. He's my dad.”

The other him still looked confused, but alternate Dante seemed to understand him. Nero continued.

  
  


“Dante found me in Fortuna like a year before Mallet Island happened and adopted me out of the place not too long after.”

  
  


The other him’s mouth was hanging open, looking gobsmacked.

  
  


There was a moment of silence before the other Dante seemed to finally lose it and exploded into noise.

  
  


_ “You adopted a child?! _ ”

  
  


He and the other Nero looked at each other with wide eyes, the suddenness almost causing him to flinch back. From the look on his double’s face, he wasn’t exactly used to this either. Dante yelling was one thing, the dude had trouble regulating his volume, but this was real deal anger, and  _ that  _ was foreign. His father figure crossed his arms pointedly at his double in response, unmoved.

  
  


“Yeah, I did.”

  
  


_ “Are you  _ **_nuts??!?”_ ** __

  
  


Dante bared his teeth at the other man, having enough of his shit, apparently. “Yeah, I am. But guess what? It worked out fucking  _ fine. _ ”

  
  
  


The other Dante seemed to calm down from his explosion a bit, but was still looking at Nero’s counterpart with a wild gaze. He laughed, almost sarcastically.

  
  


“You can barely take care of yourself, let alone a  _ child! _ What were you thinking??  _ You, raising  _ a  **_child?_ ** ”

  
  


Okay, now Nero was getting offended on his dad’s behalf. Before he could defend the older man, Dante took care of it himself. Which, okay, Nero knew he could do, but still. He took away a nice dramatic moment. 

  
  


“Yeah! Because you know better than anyone that anything is better than nothing, and shit, I may not have known what the hell I was doing, but I wasn’t going to just fucking  _ leave him there!  _ I’m not parent material, but I knew I would do everything I could to make sure I could at least try to let him grow up happy! He had no-one and he was family and family that I could  _ take care of this time!!” _

  
  


Both Neros gaped at his dad. 

  
  


_...Well shit, at least his moment-hogging was absolutely worth it. _

  
  


Of course, he then ruined the moment by dramatically twirling around, looking over his shoulder at the alternate Dante, and smacking his ass tauntingly. And for _some_ reason, that mad

  
  


Nero immediately leaned over and grabbed him by the collar of his coat to  _ throttle  _ the awful old man.

  
  


The front doors opened.

  
  


“Hey kiddo, I got 5 pizzas since you’re paying for them anyway, so--”

  
  


Lady finally looked up from the stack of pizza boxes she was balancing.

  
  


She dropped them. 

  
  


Dante, forgetting Nero’s grip on his collar, lunged forward to catch them before they hit the ground, got choked by his own shirt, ripped it a bit from the force, and then fell flat on his face as Nero released him.

  
  


Lady stared at all of them in horror.

  
  
“What did you  _ do?” _

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this will ever get expanded upon, but yeah. Here it is!
> 
> I wrote this in one sitting at definitely-should-be-unconscious o'clock in the morning, that's why it's so weird and all over the place lmao. Thank you for reading!


End file.
